Wolf5pub Read online

  A Life with Werewolves

  By K. Matthew

  Text copyright 2013 by K. Matthew

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the author.

  I sat in the shifting room, staring at the two-way mirror in front of me. Was John Edward behind it? Perhaps some other compound staff whose job it was to monitor the shift?

  It was nerve wracking waiting for the full moon, like I was waiting for my executioner to flip the switch on the electric chair. Soon I would be convicted as guilty, sentenced to a life inside of the Blackfoot Werewolf Reservation. What would happen to my report then? I wondered.

  Everything in me wanted to get up and walk around, to find the places on the walls where they had concealed the claw marks. How many others were hidden below those? Soon, mine would join them.

  My palms were sweaty as I wrung my hands in nervous anticipation. Maybe I somehow avoided contracting the disease. Perhaps, by some grace, it would pass over me. That was a stupid thing to hope for though. I knew good and well that I had it, just as I was sure John knew too.

  Rex. Your plan backfired. I bet you're going to feel like a real asshole when I walk back through those gates.

  I don't even want to think about how I'm going to feel. Their eyes will be upon me, accusing, assuming. They'll look at Chris too, but I'm the one who should have known better, they'll think.

  And what of Emmett. What will he think? That I'm now his prey, a new female whom he can induct into his harem. It's not going to happen. I won't be helpless like I was with Rex. In the reservation, I'll have Chris to protect me.

  My mind continued to wander, my face completely deadpan until I felt the first odd tremor. Something was changing inside of me. The moon was coming.

  It was like a sudden illness. My entire body cramped with pain to the point that I wanted to double over and clutch my stomach. Every cell felt like it was on fire, expanding and threatening to tear my skin.

  Maybe I can fight it, I told myself foolishly. There has to be a way to control the transformation. But despite all of my efforts, my body acted of its own accord, and I knew there would be no salvation.

  The pain became so intense that I had to slam my hands on top of the table to stabilize myself. My nails were already growing longer, thicker, strange, and foreign, and black. My mind thought to panic, but my consciousness was quickly fading, as if I was being put under anesthesia. I prayed to God for clarity, for help, or death. The fear was so great in that moment that it truly didn't matter which one he delivered to me.

  My body thickened inside my jumpsuit, tightening it around me until I felt like the material was suffocating me. Then the seams began to give way. The distinct sound of ripping was deafening. I cried out, clasping my hands over my ears, wondering how anything could possibly be so loud.

  Just as I was about to lose consciousness, I saw my reflection in the mirror, an unrecognizable monstrosity, my wolfish face twisted in pain, long canines jutting out where my black lips were drawn back in agony. My hair was receding, being replaced by thick fur that grew all over my body. I was no longer a woman.

  There were periods through the night where I would come to, only to be drug kicking and screaming back into a sea of unconsciousness. How horrible it was? By the time the night was over, I was completely exhausted, lying naked and heaving on the floor.

  The table that I had been sitting at was knocked over, the chair lay broken in the corner. Deep gouges marred the walls, similar to the ones I had seen when John had first shown me the shifting room. These, however, belonged to me. I had put them there.

  In a daze, I scrambled to a far corner of the room, shielding my nakedness. The yellow jumpsuit that I had been wearing lay in shreds, most of the pieces so small that it would be impossible to put the thing back together. A lot of them appeared to be missing. I could only assume that I had chewed on it during my time as a werewolf.

  It was several more hours before the door opened, and a red jumpsuit was tossed at me feet.

  “Get dressed,” John said, showing no hint of surprise or pity as he looked down on me. “I'll be back in shortly.”

  The way he spoke to me was different than before, with a new kind of authority. He was no longer a friend or guide.

  I slipped on the garments I had been provided, ever aware of the two-way mirror on the other side of the room. Were they still watching me? I wondered, hoping that they weren't. The very thought that I was now just an animal to them made my blood boil.

  After about fifteen-minutes, John returned to walk me to the medical facility. The room he put me in was the one that had all the tools and supplies removed, the one they used for the werewolves.

  “The PA will be in shortly,” he told me, preparing to leave the room and lock me inside.

  “John.” I reached out but dare not touch him.

  He turned. “Yes?”

  “My notebook. Will you send it to my boss?” I asked, hopeful. It had been taken from me when they led me from the Containment Center to the shifting room.

  “After we review the contents, we will decide whether or not it would be suitable to turn in,” John told me matter-of-factually.

  It was another spike to my heart. Insult added to injury. I was certain that when they discovered the raw truth behind my words that the notebook would be filed away somewhere never to be seen again. All of that work done for nothing.

  My heart sank, and as John locked the door behind himself, the only thing I could think was that I had lost everything. There would be no more fabulous career, no more loving family, no more stupid cat to greet me when I got home. The reservation would be my home now—my prison.

  When the nurse came in, there was amusement written all over her face. I could only imagine that the entire compound was getting a good laugh at my misfortune, thinking that I had a whirlwind romance with a werewolf and ended up infected. What else was there to think? Would the truth even get around once the contents of my notebook were dissected?

  The nurse gave me a thorough examination and then issued me birth control pills, though I didn't understand why I needed them since all the men inside of the reservation were sterile. After I was given a clean bill of health, John came to lead me back to the reservation.

  Where there had been wonder before when I approached those large heavy metal gates, there was now only fear—fear that there was no turning back. My mind raced with panic, thoughts of getting away from him and running. I needed to escape, but I couldn't force myself to, knowing that it would be pointless.

  The gates opened, and my heart dropped to my knees as I saw Emmett waiting for me on the other side, a knowing smirk plastered across his face. The smug son of a bitch probably couldn't wait to get his hands on me, but he had another thing coming if he thought I would be sleeping with him.

  “Emmett will take care of you from here,” John said, absent emotion as he handed me over to the dangerous alpha.

  I nodded back at him. No words needed to be said.

  Emmett greeted John before turning his attention back to me, leading me further inside the reservation so that the gates could close behind us. “Back so soon,” he joked. I was in no mood to respond though, so he tried again. “Couldn't be without us for more than a day, I see.”

  “I'm guessing I don't get my old room back,” I said, changing the subject.

  “No. Your job points have been stripped from you as well. You'll have to work for them from now on, just like the rest of us.”

  “You say that like you actually have to work for yours,” I commented sharply, turning Emmett's playfulness
into anger.

  “This is no one's fault but your own, you know. You knew what would happen if you slept with him.”

  “I did know. And that's why I didn't sleep with him,” I insisted.

  “Oh, come on, Taya. We all know about that kiss you shared outside of the recreation room. Nothing is a secret in here.”

  My mind raced back to that day. Had I known that I was going to end up inside of the reservation anyway, I wouldn't have pushed Chris away.

  “Apparently, some things are. Chris did not give me the lycanthropy disease,” I told him.

  “Then who did? Surely, you weren't fucking Devon,” he chuckled.

  I turned on Emmett. “I would appreciate it if you weren't so raw with your language around me.”

  He sneered, and the air of arrogance that I was so used to seeing from him returned full force. Emmett whispered, just low enough that the guards wouldn't be able to hear him, “In case you haven't noticed, princess, I run this place. You and everyone else in here are my property to do with and speak to as I please. You'd do best to remember that.”

  A chill of fear ran up my spine, but I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't let him intimidate me. “You don't scare me, Emmett, so please stop trying.”

  He guffawed. “So spirited.” His tone returned to normal, “Come on, let's show you to your new room.”

  Emmett didn't bother giving me the grand tour. It made sense to skip it, since I already knew how the reservation worked. Instead, he led me straight to my new small stripped down basic efficiency unit.

  “You know the drill. Today you rest, tomorrow night we'll have the celebration feast, in a week we'll have hierarchy trials. You'll still be expected to sit with the alphas and betas until it's over. If I were you, I'd take this week to strengthen up a bit. You don't want to end up an omega, and you were so close last time,” he told me.

  Fuck! The hierarchy trials. That's right, I was one step above becoming an omega. I would have to do whatever it took to secure a better placement this time.

  Emmett left me with a smirk on his face. I was sure that all the other werewolves thought the same thing about Chris giving me the lycanthropy disease. Their eyes would be upon me every time I left my room for a while, wondering and accusing.

  Breakfast passed by and so did lunch. While my stomach ached with hunger, I couldn't stand the thought of all of those eyes upon me. Everything in me wanted to disappear . . . or die.

  A knock on my door startled me out of bed. For a moment, I thought about not answering, but then I forced myself to the door anyway. Chris was on the other side, his blue eyes gazing into mine with solemn shock.

  “So, I guess it's true then,” he said, as serious as a grave.

  “I guess it is,” I replied, not really knowing what to say.

  “I'm glad I found the right room. I wasn't sure it was at first.” Chris rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Can I come in?”

  “Sure.” I stepped away from the door, allowing him inside despite the fact that I wasn't really in the mood for company.

  “Oh, um, I brought you these.” He held up a bag of chips and a soda to me. “You weren't at lunch, so I figured you might be hungry.”

  “Thanks.” I offered Chris a weak smile as I took the two items and then went to sit on the bed. Without hesitation, I tore open the bag of chips and twisted the cap off of the soda, trying not to seem like I was starving to death as I consumed them both right in front of him.

  “So, um, is it true what they're saying?” Chris asked as he sat on the loveseat.

  “Is what true?”

  “That I gave you the lycanthropy disease,” his voice was filled with an admission of guilt, as if he truly believed that his kiss has caused me to contract the disease.

  “No,” I replied, feeling guilty in my own way, even though I had no reason to.

  “Then, um, how did you get it, if you don't mind me asking?”

  I sighed, setting the soda on the floor. “Rex Willows gave it to me.”

  “Rex Willows?” Chris's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall the name. “The lone wolf?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You slept with him?” He said in disbelief.

  “He raped me . . . on the day that I went out there alone . . . well, the first day that I went out there alone.”

  “Why didn't you tell me?” Anger was written all over Chris's face, though I couldn't tell if it was from me keeping the secret from him or for Rex's actions.

  “Because I didn't want anyone to know. I thought that if I didn't tell anyone, that I could escape the reservation.”

  “I should go beat his ass right now.” Chris clenched and unclenched his fists, and I could see his jaw tensing beneath his tan skin.

  It was hard to explain Rex's intentions, but I tried my best. “He didn't do it out of hate or hormones. He thought that if I had the disease, that I'd do more to try to find a cure for it once I was on the outside.”

  “That's no excuse!”

  I cowered as Chris raised his voice. It was strange to see him so angry, and I couldn't help but wonder if he reacted similarly whenever he found out that his fiancé had been raped.

  “I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him,” Chris said, standing to leave.

  In an instant, I was beside him, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him back. “Don't bother with it. The compound knows. They'll take care of it.”

  “Will they?” Chris turned to me. “I wonder.”

  “I don't want you worrying yourself over it. It happened a while ago. I'm over it already.”

  “That guy ruined your entire life. How can you just get over it so easily?”

  “Trust me, it wasn't easy.”

  He huffed. “Everyone thinks that I gave you the disease. I'd prefer that they didn't.”

  I was a bit surprised by his implication. “You want me to tell everyone what happened?”

  Chris sighed. “No, I just don't want them to think it was me.” We stood in silence for several seconds before he spoke again, “Well, while I'm not particularly glad that you're back, given the circumstances, I'm still glad that you're back . . . if that makes sense.”

  “It does.” I offered Chris a warm smile before sliding my hands around his waist and pulling him to me for a hug. For as much as I hated that I was back inside of the reservation, it did feel good to have Chris's protective arms around me. Now, there was nothing stopping us from being together, the only upside to my dismal situation.

  “Well, I suppose I should let you get some rest. The shift takes everything out of you. I know you're exhausted.” He pulled away from me.

  “It does. I didn't think it would be quite so grueling . . . and horrifying,” I admitted.

  “It is a bit scary the first time around, since you don't really know what to expect.”

  “I don't think I'll ever get used to it. I thought I was dying.”

  “It does feel like that, at times. The man dies, the wolf takes over. I wonder how the wolf feels when it dies and the man takes back over.”

  It was a curious thing to say, but given the lack of consciousness during wolf form, it was something to wonder about.

  “It's odd that we don't feel or remember anything when we're wolves. It's almost as if our souls aren't present any longer,” I added.

  “Yeah. Creepy stuff.” He paused. “Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.”

  “Alright.” I shook away disturbing thoughts and smiled at Chris, giving him a gentle peck on the cheek before sending him on his way.

  Thanks to the bag of chips and soda that Chris had given me, I was able to skip dinner. Despite my stubbornness though, I knew I couldn't hold out forever, and the next morning, I found myself seated at the table with the alphas and betas for breakfast, cringing beneath the stare of dozens of wolfishly human eyes as the rest of the pack mumbled about my return.

  “I knew you fucked Chris Abbot,” was the first thing that Sasha, the female alpha
, said when I sat down with my tray. She nudged Emmett in the side with her elbow. “I told you they fuck.”

  Not wanting to talk about it, I kept my attention to my food. No one else at the table was bold enough to make accusations, and I was glad of it.

  Lunch played out similarly. While Emmett and Sasha ignored me completely, Rick and Margaret looked at me with concern, more worried about whether or not I was alright than how I actually landed myself back into the reservation.

  “If there's anything that you need until you're up on your feet, don't hesitate to ask,” they both told me. Margaret even gave me a gentle hug.

  Those two were the ones who needed to be alpha, not arrogant Emmett and slutty Sasha. It was a shame that the power ranks were determined through the hierarchy trials. A voting system seemed like a much more civil way to go about designating reservation officials. It was too late for me to voice that opinion now though.

  That night, Chris came to walk me to the celebration. While all the other werewolves were excited to attend thanks to the food, I felt like I was going to my own funeral. The celebration marked the death of my old family, and my acceptance into the pack.

  John Edward was not there this time. Instead, it was a smattering of the regular compound staff that attended the event: caterers, equipment set up, and the guards.

  Emmett greeted us at the door, and when he saw Chris and I together, there was a flash of accusation in his eyes. He shook our hands warmly, though neither of us smiled at his false greeting.

  Inside the recreation room, Chris and I parted ways, with me going to sit with the alphas and betas and him taking a seat with the rest of the werewolves. The room was already half full, and eyes were on us all the way until we separated, mouths whispering their scandalous thoughts.

  My eyes caught a hint of bronze at the doorway, and I lifted them to find Rex Willows entering the recreation room. His green eyes honed in on me, then dropped to the floor, void of emotion as he went to find a seat. There was a tightness in my chest from seeing him, a flood of unpleasant emotions. I was here because of him, and the compound obviously hadn't done anything about it yet.